Monday, March 12, 2007

THE WEEKEND

On Thursday I ordered a new canvas to start on my next project. On Friday a delivery man calledon my phone on route to my house asking for directions. It must be the low bookcase I had ordered from House of Frazer last December. I began to get excited at the prospect of at last getting all my books out of the boxes they have been patiently sleeping in this past year. When he arrived the delivery man handed me this.

YOU'VE GOT MAIL

WHAT?, I didn't order a flat pack bookcase, no, mines solid oak and at least six or seven feet long. TAKE IT AWAY AND BRING ME THE RIGHT THING I shouted at him as he ran ducking from the flying square package.

OPENING THE MAIL

It was my canvas that I only ordered YESTERDAY. WHAT ABOUT MY BOOKCASE? I rang and rang House of Frazer but the Home Department wouldn't answer their phone so I made plans to visit on Sunday.

Saturday morning lie on went a little like this :
At 7.00 am enter a crying Sarah (six years old) with a sore ear. A couple of twists and pulls releases the too tight ear ring back and a quick mop up of blood without her noticing quietens the shrieking screams. The Husband rolls over and sucks on his thumb where his failed attempt results in the post getting stuck into the bed of his fingernail.
At 7.10 enter another two other little bodies enquiring as to why I amattacking Sarah's ear and making it bleed. Was this going to be a new form of punishment for dropping our underwear on the floor instead of the laundry basket like we always do?
Only Rachel sleeps through this debacle because thats what teenagers do.

Later we wave goodbye to Lara who's off to a friends for a birthday sleepover and Rachel who's also sleeping over at her best friend Liberty Spikes' house and shopping for her Brothel Creepers.

WATING

I take a long relaxing shower using my best Moulton Brown Products as a treat for losing out on my lie on when I hear a pounding on my ensuite door enquiring as to where they can find their swimming gear for the trip to the pool we promised this morning.

The Husband comes with me to the swimming pool because there is a sauna and a steam room to escape to when the going gets tough. The going got tough.

Afterwards we went out to eat in an Italian restaurant We were seated under a framed photograph.
" Look," I said to Audrey
" That lady in the photograph is called Audrey Hepburn. She has the same name as you."
Next day she spots a photograph of Audrey Hepburn in one of the many Sunday newspapers strewn across the kitchen table.
"There's that Audrey Headburn again, she says but her heads still not burning"

Lara returns and we all head off to search for the missing bookcase. At House of Frazer they assure me they will have an answer by Tuesday. We head off to McDonalds to drown our sorrows in burgers, nuggets and french fries.

I LOVE FAST FOOD

LARA

SARAH

Rachel returns home later with a smile on her face and these on her feet.

BROTHEL CREEPERS

TOP AND BOTTOM

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