BATTENING DOWN THE HATCHES.

Dear Audrey,

Your father and I have noticed a new downward spiralling trend in your complete inability to communicate your dissatisfaction with certain circumstances especially ones which are not going your way. This usually starts with a low moan and a flinging back of your head accompanied by a severe case of eye rolling which often makes the sockets of your eyes turn pure white. A banshee type scream omits from your open mouth, sometimes accompanied with spittle, all of which mingles with large fat tears you produce so spontaneously and accurately timed that you could give lessons to A list actors. And all this because you left your right shoe upstairs.

Now I know that you have learned a new Irish word recently because I hear you using it all the time. You've learned that the Gaelic for 'word' is focal - pronounced phonetically fuck-el. So it's been fuck - el this and fuck-el that out of you dispersed in between periods of complete psychotic breakdowns.

Well here's a little fuck-el for you honey. If I hear another fuck-el out of your mouth in complaint about something that isn't going according to your plans I'll be having a few fuck-els with you myself and one of them sounds like this.

GROUNDED.


Love Mum

THE BODHRAN PLAYER.