Dear Audrey, 5 yrs
Two things, Jesus was not a carbonture and no you do not have to eat the sandwiches your classmate pushes into your mouth so she will not get into trouble with the teacher for not eating them.
Dear Rachel, 15 yrs,
When you grow up and have a daughter who locks her bedroom door at 8 in the morning and your upstairs landing looks and smells like 20 Major have spontaneously combusted you too will seem all knowing to your daughter when you knock on her door.
Dear Lara, 12 yrs in two weeks,
You took all the posters off your walls and gave all your teddies and toys to your two younger sisters yesterday. I'm taking that as a sign that you also will want the key to your bedroom so that you can check out the differences between Major, John Player Blue, roll-your-owns and move quickly on to joints, cocaine and finally heroin, robbing from the family to support your habit and finally end up pregnant while living on the streets never to be seen again. Goodbye my little girl.
Dear Sarah, 7 yrs,
On Saturday morning at 7.30 you tapped me on the shoulder to ask me whether you should wear the white or red skinny jeans under your tartan skirt to the 5pm party you were invited to before finally settling on the black ones. You followed me around the house dressed in your party outfit, ready to go, for the next 10 hours complaining of not being able to find your lip-gloss. Now I know you are a very good reader for your age and so although you probably don't understand the meaning of the words OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER you'll find a very good explanation here.
PS I want to know who rubbed their finger across the painting I'm working on.
PPS I have a fair idea who it was