Wednesday, January 23, 2008

BEAM ME UP SCOTTY. PLEASE?

Last night when we were putting the kids to bed I went into my bedroom to leave some laundry to sort out later when something caught my eye.

On my mirror dressing table top I spotted a melting ice cube.

"Who left that there" I asked the two youngest kids.

"Lara"

I went to find Lara. She wasn't in her bedroom. I tried Rachels room. Knock. Knock.

I waited patiently while she fumbled with the lock and finally opened the door to reveal Lara, white as a ghost, with a sewing needle stuck through the skin just under her bottom lip.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING" I shout in disbelief.

"PULL..IT..OUT..NOW..GET..IT..OUT..NOW" shouts the Husband in a strangled tone I haven't heard before.

Right then, on cue, just because things aren't dramatic enough tonight, Audrey comes screaming towards us followed by Sarah. Audrey's holdng out a red and limp hand that Sarah has tried to pop off her just like Barbies and for the first time in ages the six of us have come together, a complete family unit, united, there, on the landing.

NOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY NOBODY EVER TOLD ME MOTHERHOOD WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS?

6 comments:

Maddy said...

Hmmm.... so that would be......the family that pierces together sticks together?
BEst wishes [hope you didn't have to visit the ER too?]
Cheers

Anonymous said...

Hi Ellen,

Was Lara trying to pierce her lower lip or was she just messing around? Need the heads up for when my two are older. Mairead.

jothemama said...

Oh God Oh God.

When I got my nose pierced (note 'got', not pierced it myself) my mother said 'Oh My God! It's a mutilation!' and I never knew what she meant until I had my perfect, beautiful, strong, complete daughter.

Now she may well one day (not at twelve) wish to pierce and decorate parts of herself and I would be hypocritical to try and refuse - but it will be under the condition that she has them done with a proper needle, not gun, in a reputable, clean piercing establishment.

Lara, I've got a big scar on my nose and lumps in my ears from the times I had my nose and ears done with a gun, and the ensuing infections. Think carefully, child, before you act.

Midget Wrangler said...

OH MY GOD! IT never stops does it! It's when they are quiet that we worry...for a reason! Hope everyone was alright?

John Braine said...

Hi Ellen. Sorry couldn't find a suitable place to put this comment. Just wanted to say your Regal painting is fantastic.

Shellie said...

So, if they'd told you, you would have run away and never had kids. The parents all secretly wanted us to join them since misery loves company. Wouldn't run for anything now, though. I'm addicted to my kids.