Last night when we were putting the kids to bed I went into my bedroom to leave some laundry to sort out later when something caught my eye.
On my mirror dressing table top I spotted a melting ice cube.
"Who left that there" I asked the two youngest kids.
I went to find Lara. She wasn't in her bedroom. I tried Rachels room. Knock. Knock.
I waited patiently while she fumbled with the lock and finally opened the door to reveal Lara, white as a ghost, with a sewing needle stuck through the skin just under her bottom lip.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING" I shout in disbelief.
"PULL..IT..OUT..NOW..GET..IT..OUT..NOW" shouts the Husband in a strangled tone I haven't heard before.
Right then, on cue, just because things aren't dramatic enough tonight, Audrey comes screaming towards us followed by Sarah. Audrey's holdng out a red and limp hand that Sarah has tried to pop off her just like Barbies and for the first time in ages the six of us have come together, a complete family unit, united, there, on the landing.
NOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY NOBODY EVER TOLD ME MOTHERHOOD WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS?