WEIGHING THINGS UP

Yesterday I decided to surprise the two youngest kids so I woke them at 8.30am and told them to hurry up and get dressed because we're taking the train to Dublin in like one hour and we did but what fascinated me was the speed with which they got out of bed and dressed themselves. Hairs were brushed and they were ready in record time. I was so impressed that I'm now considering waking them every day next week when they return to school in a similar manner, you know, with things like. "Wake up kids, your Father and I have decided to bring you to Disneyland because we love you so very much. The plane is leaving in 30 minutes. Do you think you can make it honey?"

I'm not sure if I'm all that happy about them returning to school. Although I'm an early riser myself I hate all that regimented stuff that goes along with school mornings day after day, you know, things like making four different breakfasts and four different sandwiches for their lunch, four drinks, fruit, cleaning out mushed in black banana at the bottom of school bags to make more room for rotting apple cores smothered in yogurt later that day.

Then there's the searching for matching hair bobbins and socks which I figure look the same colour in the dawning light of the bedroom but obviously aren't when we're standing across the road from the school in the rain and one daughter notices she's wearing a black sock on one leg and navy blue one on another and has a mini nervous breakdown forcing me have to pay the other one a euro to swap socks with her right there and then. Those kind of things sure do make home schooling seem so much more appealing to me. And there's the help with the homework and getting them to actually start the fecking thing for Christsakes. Two distinctly different things requiring GREAT PATIENTS in order that we don't all end up having to visit Out-Patients.

Of course, as with all situations in life, there are up-sides like five and a half hours all to myself to do things like paint, meet up with friends, shop, walk for exercise, shower in the middle of the day without anyone turning on the hot tap in the sink just for fun, hold the remote control in my hand for longer than three and a half seconds, paint my nails without having to do at least 20 other fingers, make sushi for lunch, read more than one paragraph without being interrupted, locate my mascara, know my front door is shut and that stray dogs aren't screwing Molly, have computer time while it's still bright and €1 & €2 coins in my purse.

I wont have any weekday sleepover buddies staring at my panda eyes and short nightie and I can have a clean towel whenever I like. There'll be tidy rooms, tidy gardens, surplus toilet paper, food in the fridge, clean floors, lower electricity bills, quiet moments, time to take photos, be able to locate the house phone without having to search under every cushions on three separate couches,I can write and sometimes do nothing at all........... day after day after day.

Okay. I'm sure now.