Now that you're six years of age and able to read very well, being the clever child that you are, I've written you this letter to set a few things straight.
First of all, if there are any words or sentences in this letter that you cannot understand please let me know and I'll explain them to you.
Secondly I have to say that we can all tell from the lonely screams you emit from the top of the house in the early hours of the week day mornings that school is not your favourite destination of the day and that six hours of Josh & Jake hit Hollywood would suit you much better than six hours of having to sit, say and do what your teacher, Mrs C, wants you to sit, say and do.
Now, I've noticed recently that this sort of behaviour of yours seems to have extend into the weekends when your teacher Mrs C is nowhere to be seen around this house.
More than any of my kids I see that you suffer from what I can only call a 'malady of frustration'.
If you can't get your dolls arm into her jumper sleeve you see no reason why you shouldn't fling her against the nearest wall as hard as you can and press her face in to it until your fist touches the wall. Now I'll admit that this kind of behaviour worries me especially if you're considering having children anytime in the future.
So what can I say to you Audrey as a mother to help you through this difficult time of yours? I can talk to you, I can write to you and I can perhaps give you a simple metaphor that may help you on your way through this quagmire which we call life.
And here it is:
You know how it is when you want to play one of your Barbie Games on the computer and you press the box on the screen that says 'PLAY' and then the screen displays the words 'UPLOADING' and you have to sit there and wait and wait and wait until those lovely words 'PLAY' appear on the screen before you can enjoy your game?
Well honey, guess what?: LIFE'S JUST LIKE THAT.
There are things in life you want to happen like RIGHT NOW but you can't because they're 'UPLOADING'. Things like not being able to wait till you move class, wanting a new teacher, being allowed to stay up later than 8pm, being allowed to buy sweets every day of the week, not having as much pocket money as your sisters because your younger, having to get up for school EVERY SINGLE MORNING, having to get dressed, having to put on your pyjamas to go to bed.
All these things you hate are just times waiting,uploading, upgrading, until one day the word 'PLAY' appears on the computer screen of your life.
You will get to play.