Ellen M Mc Dermott - Ireland

The Cold & Inspiration

2011-10-22T14:10:00.004Z

So the weather is getting colder and shooting outdoors is not so much fun now is it? It's hard work for the models freezing their butts off and frozen hands don't work so well on the shutter button on my camera so I guess I'll be doing more indoor shoots over the coming few weeks.
I often wonder how many times per week other photographers shoot. I usually shoot about 3 times a week and spend the other days processing what I've shot. Yesterday, Friday, I spent the morning making up a list of about 30 ideas that I have in mind to work on over the coming few months. I'm not sure if I will get to do every one of them or if they will work out at all but I find it helps me inspiration wise......
Have a great weekend........

Brenda Before & After

2011-10-14T15:22:00.003Z

I promised Brenda a few beauty head shots in return for her letting me do some of my more artistic shots where you cant always see her face. I wanted to do some really clean lines with this one and kept it simple colour wise. I made the hat myself;-)
Have a lovely weekend and happy shooting

Gone with the Birds

2011-10-13T13:28:00.005Z

When Brenda agreed to model for me in the forest I said that in return I would give her some headshots and some fashion shots. This is a headshot I did for her and when she lets me know which fashion shots she liked out of the shoot I will work on them and upload them here.

I've been so busy lately that my diary is booked up until the begining of January 2012...
That's never happened to me before and not that I'm complaining just a little daunted at the amount of work ahead of me. Also there's a vomiting bug going around the kids in this house and I haven't felt the best yesterday or today which is unusual for me. I cant remember the last time I've been ill so I cant complain........

If there's ever anything you want to know about my photography or how to do something with regards to your own please do ask, I'm only too willing to share info. In fact I've had a few people asking me if I would do another workshop. (I did one in June I think) So to any of my Irish contacts, if you're interested in doing a photoshop workshop some time in the new year do get in touch and if I have the numbers I'll organize one.

Have a lovely weekend :-)

Splash.....

2011-10-07T17:16:00.003Z

The after is completely changed. I wanted to do the big splash of tears but I thought the jewels which she wore for another shoot would be a bit too much and take away from the splash of tears so I just erased them out.

Model is Ciara and original makeup by Yvonne Maher and hair by Marie Hickey

2011-09-29T11:53:00.000Z

Before & After ..........

2011-09-25T12:53:00.003Z

As you can see I've changed the original ever so slightly ;-)

Are Zebras White with Black Stripes or Black with White Stripes

2011-09-22T10:13:00.001Z

Before I discovered photography I painted all the time. One day I painted a huge zebra and put it on display in a gallery with some of my other work. It sold pretty quickly and for a really good price too so I was delighted. As I liked it so much I had painted another to put on my kitchen wall so I thought as the first one had sold so quickly why not put the one I had painted for myself into the gallery. So I did and again it sold very quickly.
And I'm sure you can see where I'm going from here. Two years later I had painted and sold about 25 Zebras out of three different galleries and I still dont have one on my kitchen wall. While it was great to make money painting then selling the zebras I just wasn't enjoying rolling them out like a conveyer belt item so I stopped painting them, my heart just wasn't in any more.

And that's when I discovered Photography...........

Before & After - digital art.....

2011-09-19T12:33:00.009Z

Model Mjranum

I chose this photo to work on because I wanted to try and get that lovely pearly skin that glows and I'm happy with how it turned out.

I painted in the window and the work on the wall to her left and I gave her an earring and matching nail polish. I changed her face because.........I can ;-)

I tried to keep the colours complimentary throughout the whole of the photo to make it more cohesive.

It took about 8 hours work in all. Phew!!!

Now, I wonder what am I going to do next???

Before & After black and white style

2011-09-15T10:38:00.005Z

She wanted this shot that I had taken of her this summer to put use as her profile on her facebook page but it was rather blown out as she was wearing a white top and it was very sunny that day so I thought I'd make it black and white which is always a good option for covering up mistakes ;-)

I played around with some layers and let her blue eyes shine through. I like the kind of old fashioned feeling it has and she was quite happy with the end result.

If there's anything you like to ask me about my processing or about my photography feel free to ask me. You can even do so anonymously Here

Before & After & A Little Brighter ;-)

2011-09-13T21:37:00.007Z

So as you can see I built out the sides again, I just love squares and the eveness of them when you're doing a portrait.
I've done quite a few dark photos recently so I thought I'd brighten things up a little this time.....

2011-09-12T07:41:00.002Z

As you can see I built out the edges and the bottom of the original photo to make it square and then I worked on it.
Thanks to Sarah Peet for sending me the original.

Soldier Girl

2011-09-05T10:49:00.004Z

Erics photo on the right

My processing

Mister Jo's original

Before & after.....

2011-09-03T20:54:00.007Z

Before & After and a little bit more....

2011-08-30T17:18:00.002Z

So this is the before and after of Melissa's shot and as you can see I did change it a little.

Tattoos in Tinakilly

2011-08-27T22:36:00.007Z

Here are some before and after photo of Melissa Haywood and her partner Martin. I've uploaded them here as someone was asking me on Flickr if I had just added a texture. As you can see I did a little bit of tidying up around them and tried to bring out the colours in their tattoos and make the pleating in her dress more pronounced.

I did the shoot in Tinakilly House Hotel and I've a couple of others from that shoot that I'll upload later when I've had a chance to work on them.

A couple of times a year I give a free voucher for a personalized portrait to a charity/worthy cause.....school, hospital etc. So if you're working towards an event like this and would like a voucher as a prize for your raffle do email me and let me know.

Before & After in Tinakilly House Hotel

2011-07-22T14:01:00.008Z

CLICK ON PHOTOS FOR THE LARGER SIZE

I asked Melissa if I could shoot her and her boyfriend and in return I did some shots of her in this hotel; Tinakilly House Hotel. it's a very old and beautiful Hotel but I just couldn't resist making it a little more ornate.......;-)

I took some more of her which I'll post here on my blog after I've finished processing them.

Before & After

2011-06-30T14:42:00.005Z

And here's the before and after of Laura who makes those lovely corsets. You can find her creations at Stitches and Stays on Facebook.

Click on the image for the larger size

Before & After

2011-06-28T22:10:00.007Z

So here's the before and after shot of one of the photos from a series that I took at the shoot and I just love the paleness of her skin against her red red hair. If you click on the photo you can view them in larger size ;-)

Photo Shoot

2011-06-03T10:10:00.002Z

On Monday Ramona who owns Brightlife Studio & Gallery let me use her studio in return for one of my prints which was so nice of her. I really enjoyed the day there working with Marie Hickey who did the models hair styles and is so creative and good at what she does and with Yvonne Maher who did an amazing job with the girls make-up.

That's me watching Marie working her magic on Laura

It was my first time working in a studio and so I was a little nervous but in the end everything worked out great. Ramona showed me how to use the lighting and softboxes and reflectors and after that we just got on with it.

The dress and corsets were made by the wonderful Laura Thorpe of Stitches & Stays and modeled by Ciara Murrin

I'll upload more shots of the girls at a later date. I'm off now for a little holiday ;-) Enjoy your weekend

Before & After Metamorphis

2011-06-01T10:11:00.004Z

So as you can see I flipped the image as I always think that the left represents the past and the right, the future.....but that's just me ;-) Then I changed her hair colour and put some lace clothing on her by using the path tool to isolate the areas I wanted to cover with the lace texture. Oh and I nearly forgot to say I made her skin a very light shade of blue by bringing down the saturation.

Next I painted in her hair to make it red and put an orange layer over her which I painted opaquely in dark brown with different brushes, grunge, scratch etc to create the faint forest feeling. I actually created a larger size square canvas so that there was more space below her feet and above her head. I like the background to be hardly visible so that all your attention is on the woman. I gave her a hoop like I did the women in my last two photos here and here and this time instead of hand drawing it I used the ellipse select tool and painted the selection with the gradient tool in brown and turquoise because I'm just really loving those contrasting colours at the moment.

You can find links to the model on my Flickr Site

I have to go now and process some of those photos that I took at the studio on Monday. Bye for now and happy shooting ;-)

Before & After

2011-05-30T06:55:00.004Z

So as you can see here I erased the ball that she was lying on and the shadows around her hands and feet and any shadowing which made the ground look directly under her. I layered it with that photo of an old oil painting called monk by the sea by Casper David Frediedrick and flipped it so that I could get the darker texture at the top. I painted out some of the clouds and smudged that layer until I got the right texture and then I changed the colour to the orange that it is now. I moved her hair using the distort filter to lengthen it and make it look like it was swishing around in water and then I added her hoop using the gradient tool to give it two colours. Last of all I copied the top part of the 'water' and pulled it up to make the photo a square and I added some small bubbles with a single bubble brush which I used on small size and then that was that :-) Hope it was of help

I'm off to a photo shoot in a studio this morning so better go now ;-) Happy shooting

Deadly Shoot

2011-05-26T08:57:00.010Z

So this is the before and after photos of Annabelle. If you click on the photos you'll get the larger size.

I originally worked on the full shot of her and put in the ground and background in complimentary colours to her dress and then I cropped it to get a better view of her face. If you look at the before photos above and below you can see that I made her body smaller by shrinking it using the distort filter. I also made her head a little larger to give her that doll like look and then I brightened her skin to make it a little more high key.

She was a cute little girl to photograph but as she had never met me before I could tell that she was a bit weary of me :-) I took loads of shots of her and a couple of them worked out great but with all the movements that kids do it sure is hard to get a sharply focused shot. All in all it turned out to be a fun shoot even if I did nearly die on my way to it. I wrote about it here on my Flickr.

Have a great day ;-)

Ciara

2011-05-24T14:04:00.007Z

This is Ciara who helped me out by modeling for the Workshop I held a couple of weeks ago and in return she wanted a couple of beauty shots for her modeling portfolio. I posted one of her here a couple of posts ago with a before and after but here is one with flowers in the background that she wanted as she liked the ones I had done previously.

I haven't added it to the others as I have enough summery ones and am looking for a nice red haired girl to add to my collection ;-) I'm making 12, one for each month of the year and only have three more to go

I took lots of shots of her that day and worked on some of them like this one

You can see another more dramatic one of her standing beside a cliff edge which I posted on my flickr here

I worked on another one today which I'll post to my Flickr tomorrow as I really like the end result.

Now the kids have just arrived home from school which means I have to come off the computer. They're not allowed on it during the week only at the weekends and I don't usually go on it when they're home from school as it gets real busy here with four kids to look after. Besides, my daughter is graduating tonight from 6th year so I've dinner to cook and fancy clothes to put on so better get going ;-) I've got some celebrating to do :-)

Untitled

2011-05-17T11:19:00.001Z

Untitled, a photo by '_ellen_' on Flickr.

They arrived on Sunday and it was as if the year since they had all been together had never existed. If only adults could be like that

♥♥♥Tumblr⎯Facebook♥♥♥

Saturday

2011-05-17T05:57:00.010Z

Click for a larger view :-)

This is Ciara and she modeled for me during the mini workshop I held on Saturday. We had a fun day which started at 11.30am. There were five of us and we took shots out on location by the sea until 2pm but we had to stop then because it started to lash rain and we all got drenched. After we returned home we processed some of the photos that we had taken and we were all finished by 4pm. I had so much fun and I could hardly believe that the time passed by so quickly ;-)

I created this beauty type photo for Ciara's portfolio in return for her allowing us to shoot her throughout the day. I stuck some feathers out of the necklace and tried to make the colours complimentary to each other. I'll post some of the shots we took later in the week after I've had a chance to work on them ;-)

All in all it was a great day and I'd definitely do it again. So if you live in Ireland and are interested in a beginners/introduction to Photoshop/Gimp Workshop and you can travel to Dublin/Wicklow get in touch with me and I'll hold another one if I have enough people interested :-)

Pink Field Anthem

2011-05-03T10:07:00.002Z

I created this photo which I took during the Easter break when we were in Wexford. And I thought it pretty apt to post it here today because when the kids went back to school this morning after being off for the past two weeks I went into the kitchen, made myself a coffee and did a little hair whipping myself

Wexford

2011-05-02T08:55:00.007Z

I went to Wexford for a couple of weeks for the Easter break and came across a beautiful rape seed field one morning so I just had to return later that afternoon and took some shots with Sarah who just wanted to walk deeper and deeper into the field.

When I was creating this photo I was thinking what a horrible name for such a beautiful field full of flowers. Rape seed? So then I made them blood red instead of yellow because that would be the colour of rape if it had one I was thinking red rape seed and blood and how it connected to menustration and how these are things every woman knows about or deals with during their lifetime whether they like it or not. I suppose having four daughters makes me think about all they will have to go through in their lives.

The field was buzzing really loudly with the sound of bees and somewhere on my computer I've got a shot of Sarah running towards me with a less relaxed look on her face than the one in this photo :) I'll post it if I can find it

Yeah, here it is.....

Saturday

2011-04-20T03:57:00.002Z

We went to this place on Saturday. It's near my house and I was hoping to go very early so that there wouldn't be many people around but somehow that didn't work out and we ended arriving at about 2pm. There weren't as many people around as I thought there would be and so I got to take some of the shots that I wanted to.

The top half of that archway which you can't see in this picture is covered in vivid red blossoms. I plan on coming back when they have fallen and covered the ground completely like a red carpet.

Balls said the Queen, if I had them I'd be King

2011-04-18T21:23:00.002Z

So this is me wearing my curtains again.... :) my right hand is holding my remote control timer for my camera and I'm covering my eyes because sometimes I have so many balls in my life that I just don't feel like juggling any more!!

I'm dedicating this photograph to all women and all they do in and with their lives.

Hannah

2011-04-17T05:38:00.004Z

Hannah came to my house and we took some shots in the back garden last Sunday. On St Patricks Day I met her with her mother in the local pub and knew that she would be just perfect for one of my flower girls and so I asked her mother if she would let me take some photos of her and she kindly said I could and gave me permission to upload them here on Flickr.

I shot this against my garden wall and it was an extremely sunny day that day. I dont really like taking shots on sunny days because peoples eyes get a little bit squinty but I think this time it worked out ok.

I took lots of photos of her while her mother sat in the garden and drank tea and I'll upload one during the week when I have a bit of time.

I'm up early posting this. It's 6.30 now but I've been up since 5.30 working on that photo of Hannah because I find it much easier than lying in bed next to this:-

Have a great day :)

Last Weekend......

2011-04-15T12:21:00.002Z

Untitled, a photo by '_ellen_' on Flickr.

So on Saturday we went into the forest and did this shoot. To get there we had to walk through a large car park and got some strange stares from people as we were carrying that antique table, two helium balloons and two huge lolly pops along with all the camera equipment and a huge bag of clothes. Not exactly picnic material!

After taking this shot we walked to the nearby lake which is huge and took some shots there which I'll post later.

And boy did we get some strange looks when she started walking into the lake fully clothed :).

I was listening to This album while i worked on this photo.

I'm posting this to my blog via Flickr as a trial so that's why it's so short. Will post more soon.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone :)

Whining & Dining

2011-03-25T12:38:00.007Z

I've neglected this blog for soooooo long that I wasn't quite sure of the password to get into the site when I sat down to write this. Thanks for all the emails and comments asking me when I was going to blog again. You see life just got a little too busy for me.

I was doing the accounts in the Gallery which I am a director of and I was on the Arts Festival Committee and with all my own art work and mothering duties to my four off spring there just wasn't enough hours in the day to sit down with a cup of coffee and tap away here.

No, in fact most of the time I felt a little like this:

I made that photograph on a particularly hormonal day by compositing images together using GIMP which is a free image manipulation program that I am deeply in love with and could quite easily spend the rest of my life with were it not for the fact that there is often a 6'1" bloke to be found walking around this house looking for someone to cook his dinner for him. Not to mention four kids that have all perfected the art of whining in complete harmony accapella style.

I've also been busy doing portrait work, mostly through word of mouth and you can see some of my photography here.

And now that things have settled down a little since I've given up the accounts in the gallery and the Arts Festival Committee work I have lots of spare time. spare time. I wrote those words twice because they're two of my most my favourite words in the world and the only reason I've been able to write this blog post.

But I have to go now to the supermarket. I've been making big decisions today. It's Friday and Fridays are wine days.

I wake up and remember it's Friday, no homework for me the kids and lots of wine.

Then I tidy the house and wonder which kind of wine I'll buy, red or white
After I do some laundry I make THE BIG DECISION - red it will be.
As I sweep the floor I consider Chilean or Italian?
I make the beds happily having chosen Italian
Lunchtime and the reality hits me; WE'RE EATING FISH TODAY. It'll have to be white
I clean the bathrooms considering French or Australian?

You see what I mean. Quite honestly the whole thing is a little exhausting.

Now Let Me Tell You About Saturdays....

Conversation with a 7 year old

2010-02-05T11:23:00.003Z

Her: Guess what happened in School today Mum?

Me: What honey?

Her: Well the teacher had to leave the room so she left us watching something she had taped that she projected onto the white board and during the ad break these naked women with x's marked on their boobies were swing out of poles and one of the girls in the class said "What's that?" I didn't want to say 'Pole Dancers in case they laughed at me.

Me: And......how, exactly, do you know what a 'Pole Dancer' is?

Her: You know how you stopped me from ever playing Rachel's Grand Theft Auto again? Well before that I went into the strip joint once and a woman there asked me if she could do a pole dance for me and she did; all sexy like. (and she wiggles her bum at me and walks away)

Me:

On being a mother

2009-11-12T10:03:00.002Z

The thing about being a good, kind, caring full time stay at home mother, about doing your job really well is that you can't talk about your successes to other people because all of your achievements belong in the end to your children.

Lets take potty training for instance and all those times you had to drop EVERYTHING you were doing and rush the child to the toilet so you didn't end up scrubbing the carpet with a wire brush and Dettol for the fourth time that day. And then one day, A. WHOLE. MONTH. LATER, the penny suddenly drops, their bladder has more control they get the whole potty training thing but it's too late as you've worn your right hand down to a stub and your carpet smells like your cat has invited all the neighbours cats in for a piss fest in the beds and rooms of your house.

Well, I'm going to break protocol here and blow my own trumpet a little and let you know about the hours I spent with Audrey (7 years old) teaching her to read, to spell, to find the letters on the computer keyboard and about how delighted I was that the changing of font size finally sunk in when she handed me this letter the other day after the ice cream van had left our road.

This house is a rocking....

2009-10-01T12:44:00.002Z

Check out Rachels song. She wrote it herself last year and has recently had a little interest in it from someone in the music business and was asked to put it out in there on the internet wherever she can and see the response she gets to it. She asked me to put it here on my blog so here it is.

I think it's brilliant but then I would

What do you think?

And then she smiled

2009-09-27T16:19:00.008Z

It's 8.30am on Saturday and Rod is up and ready to hit the barbers. He takes the two youngest with him because they insist on going. This insistence being born from the fact that they just love searching down the sides of the leather couch for €1 & €2 coins lost by previous customers more than they like watching their father getting a short back and sides.

When he returns 15 minutes later because the barber has something better to do on a Saturday morning than open his shop and cut hair we pack the car and head off to our place by the sea where we walk on the beach, start up the BBQ, open the wine and watch X-Factor while snuggled up in duvets because the gas fire is kaput.

I see that Lara is a little quiet and I quiz her in a jovial manner.

"What's the matter with my little moonoons" I say and she nods her head.
"Nothing"
"Oh is my little moonoons sad?" I ask and see little tears welling up in her eyes.
"No, there's nothing wrong" she laughs shaking her head
But I see her eyes fill up with tears and soon one drops on her little thirteen year old cheek and rolls down her face.
"Are you SURE?" I enquire
"You're making me cry" she insists still laughing but I see another tear drop from the other eye.
So I give her a cuddle and she goes back into her room for a while and when she comes out she sits on the couch and looks over at me.
"There's this weird rumour going around school about me" she says
"What is it?" I ask
"Well, everyone thinks I have my own personal social worker because Dad is hitting me and so I've spent the last week in care" she says wide eyed with a half smile on her face.
"Really?" I say.
"And do you have any idea who started that rumour" I ask.
"Yeah, probably ******" she says mentioning a girl in her class who herself doesn't have the happiest of childhoods if you know what I mean.
"Did you hear that Rod?" I say to Rod as he's passing us by to go outside.
I relate to him what she told me
"Nice rumour" he says blase-like and continues out the door only to return a short while later.
"And do you know who started this rumour?" he asks
She repeats what she told me earlier and that the girl who informed her about this rumour promised she wouldn't say who told her.
"Do you want me to go in to the school and speak to your Year Head?" I ask
"NO WAY" she cries and happy that she's shared her problem she sits back with a deep sigh, her black eyeliner smudged down her pale small face.

Her dad throws a packet of crisps into her lap.
"Eat those up or I'll give you a right box"
And then she smiled

Memoires of a Devoted Mother - not

2009-09-24T11:39:00.005Z

So, finally, now that there's nobody home sick this week since the start of the month I keep expecting Ashton Kutcher to pounce out of the fridge and roar at me "You've been punk'd!"

I feel a little uneasy when I leave the house without my phone because I'm absolutely sure the Principal of the school will be leaving multiple messages to ask me how in Gods name could I mix up Swine Flu with a slight runny nose and could I please remove ALL of my daughters from the school IMMEDIATELY.

Amazingly all these OCD feelings seem to disappear at precisely 3pm and then it's the kids who are swinging out of the fridge with yogurts in their hands and biscuits in their pockets and I just keep on stirring the curry on the cooker top while listening to two times tables and spelling words like N E I G H B O U R. In fact I multi-task so well now that I can even take personalized orders for small red tubs of hair wax for a messed up look and while waiting for the rice to cook I can even restyle hair with an up to date, state of the art, side fringe. WOW. "Hay, didn't I just cut your hair last week I ask?" as she skips off to blow dry and flat iron her new hairstyle.

Yeah, it's quiet around here without Spongebobs waves of laughter drilling at a rate of over 20kHz into my ear drums, throwing me off balance as I dish out the dinner and causing me to cover our white west highland terrier with curry sauce so that she now looks exactly like the rest of our freckly family. Why I can hardly tell the difference between her and Audrey these days.

Who shall have a fishy on a little dishy

2009-07-12T14:59:00.006Z

I know, I know.

It's been ages since I've updated here and to be honest I've been wondering, yet again, if it's worth my while.

Every time I decide it's time to wrap up this blog the only thing that stops me is how it helps me keep in touch with my brothers, sisters and my Mum and Dad and how much the kids will enjoy reading back over the escapades they got up to when they were young.

So whats new?

Well, I still have no car. The gearbox is being reconditioned as the reconditioned one the mechanic finally sourced up in Belfast after several weeks doesn't work in my car but I am hoping he will have finished work on it this week.

In the meantime my painting has taken a second place to my photography and I'm experimenting with some surreal portraits and having fun coming up with stuff like this

And, boy, that fish DID taste good.

Making headlines

2009-06-29T15:32:00.005Z

So I'm walking out of the local supermarket when I notice the headlines on the free local newspaper that is stacked by the door.

Mother of young 14 year old boy is charged by emergency services for having to come to his aid when he climbed and got stuck up the top of a ruined castle on the sea cliff edge up the top of our town.

And I think of Lara and of that story she told me a couple of months ago about how her friends told a young boy who was a friend of hers, whom she used to go out with, that if he climbed to the top of the castle he would get a kiss from her and how he got stuck up there and how funny it was when they had to call the emergency services and then I remembered this occasion with the same young boy.

Expensive kiss.

Bloody recession

2009-05-25T12:33:00.005Z

Now my car has given up the ghost and I'm on foot until it gets sorted out. So I've been thinking of some ways I could pull in my belt to save some money to pay the €2,000 - €3,000 bill I'll be sent if I end up having to have a new automatic gearbox fitted.

You know, saving money by buying clever reusable items instead of throwaway things. Things like this or perhaps even this for example for me, Rachel and Lara.
;)

When the only good thing about today is..... it's Friday

2009-05-15T16:01:00.000Z

45 minutes in the dentists chair left Sarah with a brand new tooth and Audrey with a brand new attitude when the dentist asked her not to ruin his handy work again.

Her mouth was a little sore afterwards but kids being kids she got used to her new tooth in no time at all.

Next day, Wednesday, I put on my trainers, rain coat and head phones and was followed out the front door that evening by Lara (13) who wanted to accompany me on my 2nd 10km/6/2 mile walk in the misty rain that had descended on Ireland that morning.

It's at this point I should probably explain our family wager suggested by my visiting 'Australian' sister after a wine accompanied family meal.

For six months, ending on the 1st August 2009, four of us have to lose one stone and one of us has to not buy any clothing. If you fail you pay €100 out to the other successful competitors. Simple as that.

So there we are walking along the country roads looking at the wet sheep looking at us and I'm wondring who's more stupid and I'm also thinking I could avoid this kind of situation if I walked more generally, you know, walk the kids to school instead of driving them especially as the school is only 10 minutes away from my house and I should walk to Tesco's for my groceries which is only 5 minutes on foot because it will help me lose that next 10lbs I need to lose in the next 8 weeks.

And the Universe, next day, being the wonderful, complex, synchronistic, helping and healing place that Carl Jung said it was opened it's arms and ears and gave me exactly what it thought I needed to succeed.

Yes, it gave me just the great big incentive I required for my situation by coincidentally busting the automatic gearbox in my car yesterday helping me to walk more and to loose the guts of two thousand euro to get it fixed.

€2,000.00

Obviously it had forgotten we'd changed from £'s to €'s on 1st Jan 1999.

Just another manic Monday.

2009-05-11T22:41:00.005Z

I have, on many occasions, admired something a stranger is wearing, asked them where they bought it, searched it out, found it and bought it for myself. It's a little trick I learned from my mother who could shop for Ireland were she not on a family wager not to buy a stitch of clothing for six months.

So when I saw this lady, about my own age, in my local supermarket I couldn't but notice her lovely figure. She was slim without that skinny drawn look that only the very hungry have and before I knew what was happening I was right over there beside her in the pet food section.

"Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me saying this but I've noticed you here before and I cant help wondering what is it exactly you do to have such a wonderful figure?"

Had I really said that?

She happily told me she walked to the next town and back which was 10km/6.213 miles then she walked along the sea front with her dogs and on her return she ran on her thread mill as she watched T.V and then on a Saturday she could eat what ever she wanted, bacon and cabbage even. BACON AND CABBAGE. Had I heard her right for Christsakes?

Why not a large bag of Doritos, a bar of mint chocolate all washed down with a Coke? Perhaps all this exercise had caused a little weight loss of the brain.

She pranced off to the cash register with her basket of shopping and left me standing there wondering if all that sustained regime of exercise was really worth having a beautiful, slim, toned body and bacon and cabbage on a Saturday?

Nah. It couldn't possibly be

But that didn't stop me putting on my trainers this evening after dinner and heading off with my headphones and radio for the next town 10km/6.213 miles away.

The walk took longer than I planned because it's been a long time since I walked 10km of an evening and pretty soon the husband was ringing me to know where I was. I knew that the little seed Lara planted in his head, when she laughingly said last week that she wondered if I was having an affair I was out of the house so much recently, was sprouting in his mind right about the time I was one hour and fifty minutes into my evening walk.

I'll be home in ten minutes I said with the little breath I had left although I wasn't sure my ankles would last that long.

The thoughts of a nice warm shower kept me going and when I finally arrived home 10km later I felt a little faint on stopping. I made my way upstairs, put the kids to bed, kissed them and told them to stop kicking each other as I switched off the light.

As usual, all the hot water had been used by the older kids so I flicked the switch to warm some more and went to watch a movie with the husband.

No sooner had I cross my legs on the couch when loud cries of misery came from both of the two youngest girls as they thumped down the stairs, cries ever increasing in volume.

Being connoisseurs of crying we lock eyeballs and play that game we play now and then when we try to guess the tune from the first few bars of a song on the radio.

"That's torn skin" I say without blinking
"Yep could be, sounds like a broken arm,...... or leg though" he replies knowingly

And in runs a screaming Sarah who's got the bottom half of her top tooth lying on her lower lip

When some things put other things into perspective

2009-05-11T12:45:00.003Z

These past couple of weeks have been a little hectic. Most of my time in between school trips, cooking dinners and house cleaning has been spent organizing an Arts Festival which ran over the last two weekends as well as the work that I do for my local art gallery. But now that the festival is over life should be returning to normal at last and I'll have hours to spend blogging away to my hearts content and doing things like spending 45 minutes editing that photo up there on top that I took for my May masthead which in the end turns out to be not wide enough but will have to do for now because quite frankly I don't reckon mastheads are worth spending 1/12 of my day on when I could quite easily be painting my toe nails instead.

Besides the early mornings and late nights attending the festival functions things have been quite normal if you don't take into consideration things like;

Our dog has started random farting due to her advanced age of 10 years
Sarah turned 9 on the 9Th of May 2009
Lara broke up with her boyfriend, then it was back on, then off, then on again
Rod gave up the cigarettes, then was back on, then off, then on again
Audrey still cries minimum five times per day
Rachel's friend died this weekend.

The long and short of it

2009-04-10T08:10:00.002Z

Now........... that the cars running fine, the kids are healthy (besides Audrey (7) needing a spittoon next to her day and night), the husbands cut down on his cigarette intake and is off the booze in order not to be tempted to break the world record of twenty cigarettes in as many seconds after the first bottle of wine, Rachel's (17) got a new girlfriend, Lara's (13) being fitted for braces on her teeth although I'd prefer if it was a chastity belt, I've had a headache for two weeks in a row, Audrey's (7) adult front tooth is peeping out at last , it started raining the moment the kids got their Easter Holidays ........ not much has changed since I last updated here.

I find life seems so much more palatable and easier when written in short concise hind sighted sentences like the one above and much much easier to look back and laugh at without all the emotional turmoil being attached.

For example a sentence like, .......stayed awake all Tuesday night when I couldn't contact Rachel and she never returned home till the next day......would have been so much easier for me to go through if I'd thought of it just like that at 3.34am but no, she didn't answer her phone because somebody had turned it off. She NEVER turns her phone off because when she does she becomes very anxious. So someones taken it from her, forced it off of her and she's now lying dead down a cold wet and dark lane way, I'll have to arrange the funeral, invite both families, we'll all have to wear black clothes and dark sunglasses as we stare down into the grave, I'll become very depressed after the shocks worn off, turn to antidepressants, abuse antidepressants, spend all my housekeeping money on numbing myself with painkillers and end up in Mount Joy prison for robbing the local Pharmacy.

But besides those kind of things.

Life's been good lately

.

The week

2009-03-24T08:34:00.005Z

So I went to the garage to have my car fixed last Monday to get rid of the terrible noise underneath the front of the car.

Now the mechanic, who usually fixes my car, is a great guy but the problem is that I can never ever understand him. He speaks so fast and has a very strong country accent with a slight lisp. He usually chats away to me pointing here and there and I nod knowingly now and then picking out the odd word like, fan, radiator, €7,900, sorry.

But on Monday everything was different as I leaned forward after having asked him how much the repair would cost and we communicated in that great and wonderful universal language that I love so much where he waves his hand at me, shooing me away and I smile at him and wave back as I drive off into the sunset.

Saint Patricks Day was spent with family in our house and at the parade which passes the main street at the bottom of our road and for the rest of the week we've been doing normal things like visiting the chemist for bucket loads of painkillers to deaden the pain from the stomach cramp bug we all have here in the house.

Two of the kids were off sick yesterday and only one today so you see, we ARE making progress.

I've spent most of my painting time taking photos and processing them with my very favourite application GIMP and am badly in need of some new models as the ones here have upped their rates to €5 per shoot with a ceiling of 10 shots. I'm just waiting for one of them to understand the workings of a Union.

Here's a couple I did earlier

Fuckit

2009-03-12T00:15:00.000Z

So it's Wednesday morning and I am parking the car outside the school building. I approach my parking position perpendicular to the pavement. Just as I go to put my foot on the brake the feckin car front hits the pavement softly and slowly but makes an ungodly noise, an expensive noise and I make a noise too and it sounded like this: "FUCKIT"...........

and the kids say "MUM YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT WORD"

I NEED the car for something I'm working on especially for the next three days Thurs, Fri and Sat. but every time I start it up it makes an ungodly noise. It seems to stop as soon as I'm driving though. Still I have to leave it in to be fixed before it gets any worse or I have to take a longer than normal road trip. I'm hoping it's just something I've loosened like the radiator cover or something and............

I know exactly what I'm going to say to the Mechanic when he gives me his Bill and it wont be "Thank you".

Why I've been neglecting my blog

2009-03-10T11:40:00.006Z

I've been so busy lately that I only got to change my February masthead, up there on the top of my blog, this morning. I took the photo of that daffodil from a pot of them I bought in Tescos for €2.99 because nothing that colourful ever grows in my garden and because daffodils mean spring and spring means March so could somebody please tell him up there to stop throwing snow down and warm this feckin country up a little.

So, since my last post I've; been to Paris and back, had a central heating boiler crisis, two birthdays for our oldest and youngest daughters, painted two paintings, put on weight, become addicted to expressos, emptied my bank account and had a continous period for one month.

How cool am I?

They say a picture speaks a thousand words so here goes.

That's Paris where I tagged along on Rods business trip. I saw the Mona Lisa again and walked and walked during the days while he was at his meetings and my mother was at home in my house minding my four kids with no heating or hot water.

Now how cool am I?

Not as cool as her.

She was feckin freezing.

A feckin freezing saint.

That's my mum

Last week

2009-02-25T15:46:00.011Z

My youngest sister took a day out of her trip home here in Ireland to come over to my house for the day last week and she baked cakes with my kids and planted a peony so we'd remember her when she returned to Australia where she lives now.

It was a real pity she had to leave Ireland the day before we set off on our girly trip to Aghadoe Heights in Killarney to celebrate my Mums 70th birthday because we really would've loved if we all could've been together on that occasion but I can't say I felt too sorry for her especially when she texted us to say she had bought a helmet for her first attempt at the highest ski slope on Whistler in Canada where she was holidaying with her husband and some friends.

Here's some photos of our weekend in Killarney.

I know they're really really small but if Blogger wasn't so bloody slow and anal about larger sized photos I'd repost them.......... like I've been doing all morning to try and get them to look like the ones on my sister blog. Like these.

I have to make this photo that I took of my mother larger though so you can see how beautiful she looks even at 70 and I can only hope that at her age I too can afford pots and pots of Creme de la Mer.

When actions speak louder than words

2009-02-15T18:56:00.002Z

I have been painting since early this morning and my hair is in a pony tail and I am wearing a red and white calico shirt and my painting jeans. It's time to go to the supermarket because everyone wants toast for breakfast and there's no bread in the bread bin so I put down my painting brush and walk into the kitchen.

"I'm going to make myself beautiful before I head down to Tesco's" I say planning to whip off my hair bobbin and shake my hair loose like that secretary in the movies who turns from plain Jane to Marilyn Munroe in the blink of an eye.

""Eh, give me two minutes and I'll get the hockey stick and help you out" says the husband

All good things come to an end

2009-02-09T11:28:00.004Z

When we woke up last week and saw this everyone in the house was delighted

Except for our dog Molly who became a target for easy hits.

After a while the novelty began to wear off

And soon the kids were begging to return to school.

It's been raining today and most of the snow has disappeared but it was fun while it lasted. I took the photos above after a trip one day up the mountains to Powerscourt where we had great fun building snowmen in foot high snow before a groundsman came along and informed us we were snapping the blades of grass on his expensively manicured golf course which was under all that snow and asked us to move on.

Most of the week the kids were out of school and spent a lot of the time out playing with the neighbours kids in the snow while I played with my new camera and whiled away the hours by manipulating a few photos of my girls and my sisters lovely kids using the excellent Gimp application.

I'll post some more of them later today when I get time

The relapse

2009-01-29T13:48:00.004Z

It is 8am and the four kids are dressing for school. Lara and Sarah have been home sick with the vomiting bug since Monday. Sarah doesn't seem to have been affected by it as much as Lara who is still looking pale but insists on returning to school today because she has a ticket to go and see her friend in a play in Greystones tonight and she knows staying at home sick means she won't be allowed to go to the show.

They eat breakfast and put their schoolbags into the car and Lara can hardly manage to swing hers onto her shoulders because it is so heavy. Her face is pale and she looks a little thinner in the face.

Outside the school I see her swapping school bags with Rachel who is better able to carry the heavier bag and then they disappear through the gates.

After the others have gone into their classrooms I make a quick trip to Tesco's to stock up on the essentials and when I arrive home my phone is ringing.

"Hello, Mrs McDermott"
"Hello"
"I'm calling about Lara. She's not feeling well and I think she should go home"
"Oh yes, she's been off sick since Monday. I'll come in now and get her" I say
"Yes, I think that would be best" says her teacher.

10 minutes later I am walking into the hallway of the school. Lara is sitting there with her best friend. She looks pale.

She gets into the car and immediately asks if she can go to see the play tonight. I feel sorry for her when I look at her white lips.

"When we go home you can get into my bed and have a good sleep and then when you get up you can have some 'chicken soup for your soul' and we'll see how your feeling then OK?" I say

"Okay", she replies wiping away her tears.
"God that was so embarrassing" she says
"What?" I ask

"Well, I wasn't feeling well although I tried really hard to seem involved in the discussion we were having but everything went a little blurry and when I closed my eyes the teacher asked me if I was ok and I said yes. Then she asked me to come up to her and when I stood up I fainted and banged my head heard on the desk and the next thing I remember is the teacher standing over me giving me CPR and pushing down on my stomach as I lay on the floor. And all the kids in the classroom were looking at me with their mouths open."

"You're joking me" I say and we both start laughing out loud.
"What are you laughing at?" she says
"I'm laughing at the thoughts of that teacher of yours giving you mouth to mouth resuscitation" I say

"She wasn't actually kissing me but when I came around she was looming over me pushing down on my stomach for some strange reason"

We both laugh the rest of the way home and she looks a little better.

She needs to rest and then I worry that you shouldn't sleep after a bang to the head but she's disappeared up the stairs with two paracetamol and a glass of water before I can say anything.

The weekend

2009-01-27T14:04:00.004Z

On Friday I filled the fridge with food and my suitcase with clothes and headed off at 4pm to meet up with my Mum and drive across Ireland to Limerick where my sister was in full swing planning her girls only 40th birthday party for the next day. We chatted late into the night over wine discussing important things like the pros and cons of teeth whitening, husbands and their foibles and the good, bad and ugly of relationships because those are the kind of things we find interesting.

Next morning, Saturday, after watching my sister opening her birthday presents over a champagne breakfast we girls spent hours in Adare town.

We shopped and drank glasses of wine over lunch and on our return to her house where the party was to be held we dressed and waited for the party food to arrive from her hotel while we sipped champagne and sapphire gin. It was what I like to call a "MY KINDA DAY" and soon turned into a "MY KINDA NIGHT" dancing and karaoke till the early hours of the morning. I think it was 5am when my head hit the pillow but I couldn't be sure about that. It might have been the headboard.

It was all over too soon and I was driving back to my house and the thoughts of peeling spuds in the sink only to be greeted by kids with wet hair from being recently showered, a sea food pasta cooked by the hubby accompanied by a bottle of cold white wine and a VERY tidy house.

I must go away more often. Or perhaps it's just that they can get by fine without me. Whatever. I had a great weekend away and a great return home so the hours I spent yesterday and today minding two sick kids with the vomiting bug were a little more easier for me to handle than they normally would be as I was thinking back to the weekend, playing the days over in my and wondering, you know, things like; would anybody have noticed if I had taken a third lobster tail from the buffet.

Another one bites the dust

2009-01-20T19:42:00.005Z

Dear Sarah,

I'm so glad that everything seems to be going so well for you at your new school. Every morning you hold my hand as we walk towards the school and then you drop it when we walk through the school gates in case your friends might see.

This morning you wouldn't kiss me goodbye and I felt a little sad inside as I watched you laugh and walk away into the school yard towards your friends. You looked over your shoulder and you walked back over to me

"But I can give you a hug" you whispered probably knowing that I needed it more than you.

Love Mum

I'm back

2009-01-20T12:58:00.007Z

It was right then, when we went into the Iraqi Restaurant close by our hotel and ordered two beers while we decided what we were going to eat, that I realised I would be eating my meal with no carbs AND no alcohol...... (well, Iraqi's don't drink now do they? ) and somehow this didn't sit well with me. I was on my holidays wasn't I? FECK the no carb diet. Hadn't I read somewhere recently that eating no carbs for a long periods of time was bad for your health?

Yes, indeed I did I remembered as I munched down on some of the nicest naan-like bread I've ever eaten. Yep. I'm back on the carbs after exactly six long months and having stuck to it rigidly and having reached my target weight I'm ever so happy that it worked and is now.....OVER.

I did lots of walking around London while Rod was working. I explored several galleries, my favourite being The National Portrait Gallery where I took in Annie Leibovitz's wonderful photograph exhibition and in the evenings Rod and I drank wine and ate food in small restaurants we found off the main thoroughfares. Oh OK then, the closest restaurant when we felt hungry hence the Iraqi meal which was out of this world I might add.

I felt a little odd at times having nothing to do for anybody and nobody else to look after or consider except myself and I noticed myself keeping pace like a little ant with the rest of the crowed walking through the Underground when there was no need for it at all. So I slowed myself right down and enjoyed the feeling of wandering around that wonderful city knowing that I could relax in the knowledge that my kids were happy in the capable hands of my Mother whom I can only describe as the closest thing to a living saint. Who else would mind four kids and a dog for a week and be genuinely happy with a present of Harrods logo golf balls and tees in return?

Rod's off to Paris next month. I wonder if she's free and if the Louvre sell titanium golf clubs?

A letter to my Mum

2009-01-12T14:01:00.002Z

Dear Mum,

First off I have to say thank you for coming over to mind the kids while we are away this week. If I haven't been in touch as much as I usually am these past few days it's because I was afraid that hearing the kids screeching in the background might have made you change your mind and quite frankly I couldn't risk that.

You asked me to write down some of our routines, likes/dislikes the kids might have so here it is;

In the mornings the older two kids will get up themselves. Call into them just the once as you are going downstairs with the younger two. Audrey feels that being the youngest in the family gives her the right to not use her arms for the first half hour after waking. Do not be fooled.

Sarah wakes with a smile on her face which does not disappear until her exit from school whereupon she feels a strong urge to cry from the pain in her cheeks and being good all day.

When they get home from school they eat. Then they eat some more. And more, especially when you are not looking. They will eat anything which does not require the following; a plate, cutlery, a table.

They drink water, not juice, coke or milk. Stick to this because, kids, especially the older ones, always push the envelope and will, next time you mind them convince you that a crisp chilled Chablis is de rigeur with their pasta and before you know it our recycling quota increases and our evenings are taken up with al anon meetings, Rod leaves me because of the stress, the house is repossessed and we end up living in a B & B subsidised by the Government.

The younger two kids go to bed between 7.30pm and 8.00pm and after that the older two must have their hands pried from the sides of the computer so if you're playing golf that day reserve a little of your strength. You're going to need it.

Don't bother about any laundry or ironing and if you're passing any rooms in the upstairs of the house that look uncannily similar to the contents of a skip I find holding your breath and closing your eyes as you pass by works great.

You'll find Post It's dotted about the house, ie the central heating system. And if there's anything you need to know feel free to call me although Rachel and Lara will help you out.

I'm going to visit a few art galleries, photograph Big Ben and check out the Sales and although Rod will be working every day over there I'll get to see him in the evenings.

I'll be back on Friday night and really, really, appreciate you minding the kids for me.

Love Ellen xxx

Happy new year!!

2009-01-09T22:58:00.005Z

So I bought Rod a wedding ring for Christmas because he asked me for one (where the other one went to is another story that I'm not sure anybody would be interested in) and he bought me the lovely camera that took this photo of his ring.

I also took this shot of one of the best Christmas present he gave me.

Him smoking one of the last of his cigarettes of the year.

He's been off them nearly a week now and I really, really hope he can keep it up.

The kids are back in school and getting into a routine again comes with it's added pressures like trying to convince four children that getting out of bed at 7.30am under minus one degree conditions is a worthwhile exercise.

Pulling back on the freedom they've had over the holidays is also difficult especially with the older two but it's something that has to be done and was explained to them at the beginning of their Christmas break thereby making any complaints at this stage null and void.

It's been an eventful couple of weeks recently and I know that I haven't been posting as much as I usually do this past while but what with the other things I do on the side; working for a local gallery and helping to organize our County Arts Festival whilst keeping track of the whereabouts of my offspring, has kept me very occupied.

But once I get myself back into my routine I'll be sorted.

Happy New Year to you all and here's my most favourite word for this new year coming.

I hope you all have a wonderful new year!

SEASONS GREETINGS

2008-12-28T20:45:00.005Z

Now that Christmas is over and all the fridge contains is a half empty bottle of Bacardi, one pint of milk, crab meat, smoked salmon, fresh cherries, cream, raspberries and a plate of assorted half consumed cheeses it's time to venture out to Tescos once again and time to re-teach the kids the meaning of the word 'NO'

This has been the first Christmas ever that we have spent Christmas on our own, besides when we were living in Asia, and what a great time we had this year.

No need to change out of our pyjamas till we felt like it. No reason to feel guilty about drinking champagne at 9am or about popping a chocolate bar into one of the kids mouths to stop them from screaming. Nope. It was all good. Nobody getting drunk, no dried out turkey (boned & rolled, your only man), no Brussels sprouts and no arguments.

Can it really all be over already?

Roll on the New Year that's what I say...............

I'll post some phtos of the lovely presents I got from Rod and gave to him this Christmas some time over the coming week. The kids are off school and so 'downloading and uploading photo time' is at a premium not to mention actually being allowed to sit in front of my own computer.

I hope you all had a good one too.

MRS CLAUSE - OR PERHAPS SANTA IS A WOMAN?

Mary had a little........ cushion?

2008-12-21T22:01:00.004Z

Now that Christmas is nearly upon us, and we've all recovered from being ill, all the kids especially the two youngest ones are terribly excited about the whole Santa thing.

Audrey is playing Mary in her school play and not impressed in the least that she has to stuff a cushion up her jumper.

Can you see how riveting she's finding the whole experience?

*EDIT* click on photo for full size. Blogger is not able to accommodate landscape medium sized photos unfortunately.

I remember the month of December.

2008-12-14T22:22:00.003Z

Generally speaking I'm an optimistic kinda girl who likes to look on the bright side life but at this stage I have to be quite honest and admit that things have been quite simply SHITE recently. To say that this past week has been one of the worst weeks of the year would NOT, IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM, be an understatement.

We've all five of us been SICK, SICK, SICK, Rod too in his own way but I won't even go there with regard to him only to say that he's been so out of sorts that he's been working remotely from home and mostly in his pyjamas for the past week. I also won't go into the details of the 'threat' of a lawsuit against us by the mother of Rachel's ex because........it's so pathetic a situation I can't give myself permission to waste my time tapping out the words on the keyboard.

What I can tell you about is the gallons of Buttercup medicine that's been swallowed by our kids and the fact that our bottle recycling crates have never been so empty nor our Solpaedine stash so plentiful than this week.

And I must admit that if it weren't for the fun lunch in Dundrum Centre with my girlfriends on Friday and the trip to the Ice Bar with the 'girls' on Saturday night I don't think I'd be able to make it to the end of the month without a trip to Saint John of Gods.

And I kid you not on that matter.

A matter of timing

2008-12-07T14:03:00.006Z

It is Thursday morning and Rod and I decide to walk down the town since he's still on holidays from work. We wanted to do something we've been meaning to do for ages.

We stop half way down the main street and look into the butchers (one of three in the town) window at the lovely arrangement of meats on display and then we walk inside. We tell the butcher we are on a sausage hunt for the best sausages here in this one street town and he tells us, like the three wise men, that we have come to the right place.

He gives us an assortment of Cumberland sausages, breakfast sausages, big ones and small ones and if you're reading this and live in Ireland you can probably see exactly where this is going.

Yes, we go home and cook up those lovely sausages and smack our lips together in pure pleasure as we eat them and when we turn on the TV and see, this, all Irish pork products should be removed from the store shelves and any pork products in any house since September should not consumed due to contamination of pig feed suddenly those sausages don't taste so great anymore and we don't feel so wise now.

Letter to Lara

2008-12-03T12:44:00.003Z

Dear Lara,

Well done, you've completed your months grounding without much complaining and succeeded, somehow, in acquiring yourself a nice big hickey on your neck. Not bad considering your new boyfriend has only visited this house twice and was within eye shot of me most of the time. How you managed that I'll never know.

Your father wonders if you could possibly ask your boyfriend to eat before his next visit here.

Love Mum xxx

The smoker

2008-12-02T13:34:00.005Z

It's the third time this year that he's tried to give up smoking. The most recent being only two weeks ago. Now most of the time he's pretty even tempered. Doesn't get too happy nor too sad. But not when he's off the fags. Nope. Then he turns into a red eyed pink faced roaring lunatic especially at key times like first thing in the morning , after dinner, while drinking coffee or when the kids rush towards him with open arms saying "Hi Dad, you're home".

He's off work for a weeks holidays this week and after that he's going to try again. God help us.

I've got to go now and lick the toilet bowels clean as I've GOT to make it look like I'm not having too easy a time here on my own.

memories

2008-11-27T13:40:00.005Z

When Rod came home after work last week with these in his hands you could have knocked me down with a feather and I automatically clutched my stomach because he's not really the flower-buying kind of guy and now my kitchen smells exactly like it did in my hospital room every time I gave birth.

audrey

2008-11-23T21:16:00.001Z

sarah

2008-11-23T10:50:00.000Z

A letter to Audrey

2008-11-18T00:27:00.002Z

Dear Audrey,

Now that you're six years of age and able to read very well, being the clever child that you are, I've written you this letter to set a few things straight.

First of all, if there are any words or sentences in this letter that you cannot understand please let me know and I'll explain them to you.

Secondly I have to say that we can all tell from the lonely screams you emit from the top of the house in the early hours of the week day mornings that school is not your favourite destination of the day and that six hours of Josh & Jake hit Hollywood would suit you much better than six hours of having to sit, say and do what your teacher, Mrs C, wants you to sit, say and do.

Now, I've noticed recently that this sort of behaviour of yours seems to have extend into the weekends when your teacher Mrs C is nowhere to be seen around this house.

More than any of my kids I see that you suffer from what I can only call a 'malady of frustration'.

If you can't get your dolls arm into her jumper sleeve you see no reason why you shouldn't fling her against the nearest wall as hard as you can and press her face in to it until your fist touches the wall. Now I'll admit that this kind of behaviour worries me especially if you're considering having children anytime in the future.

So what can I say to you Audrey as a mother to help you through this difficult time of yours? I can talk to you, I can write to you and I can perhaps give you a simple metaphor that may help you on your way through this quagmire which we call life.

And here it is:

You know how it is when you want to play one of your Barbie Games on the computer and you press the box on the screen that says 'PLAY' and then the screen displays the words 'UPLOADING' and you have to sit there and wait and wait and wait until those lovely words 'PLAY' appear on the screen before you can enjoy your game?

Well honey, guess what?: LIFE'S JUST LIKE THAT.

There are things in life you want to happen like RIGHT NOW but you can't because they're 'UPLOADING'. Things like not being able to wait till you move class, wanting a new teacher, being allowed to stay up later than 8pm, being allowed to buy sweets every day of the week, not having as much pocket money as your sisters because your younger, having to get up for school EVERY SINGLE MORNING, having to get dressed, having to put on your pyjamas to go to bed.

All these things you hate are just times waiting,uploading, upgrading, until one day the word 'PLAY' appears on the computer screen of your life.

And baby.

Believe me.

You will get to play.

Love Mum

xxxxx

The girl who could fly

2008-11-17T10:32:00.001Z

I wrote this six years ago and since then it's resided under the staircase of two homes in an old laptop case and this week I found it while searching in a kitchen cupboard for an old shopping bag. It's completely full of spelling and grammar mistakes and feels to me as if someone else wrote it. I'm going to give it some attention this week.

Good morning bokeh style

2008-11-14T12:58:00.006Z

Some mornings are simply brighter than others. I believe they're called 'the weekend'

Some things I just cant bring myself to throw away

2008-11-13T13:50:00.001Z

So small they fit in the palm of my hand

Man about the house

2008-11-11T08:05:00.003Z

Although I miss Rod terribly when he's away I also love the change of pace around the house when I'm on my own. The kids, not having two adults to play off each other seem better behaved and I get to hold the remote control more often and cook fish fingers for dinner.

None the less I was delighted to see him return and knew he had without a doubt when, on Monday, I pulled out a precisely folded shirt and equally neatly folded pair of jeans from the laundry basket.

That's my man

orchid in my kitchen

2008-11-09T15:35:00.001Z

When the cats away............

2008-11-06T14:50:00.005Z

I don't know what it is about my need for the near obsessive rearranging of paintings, photos, ornaments and furniture that I've been doing around this house since Rod left Ireland on business last Monday.

So far I've hammered 8 nails into the walls of this house to hang more photos,
culled the kids toys,the bookcase, my wardrobe and cupboards and dumped the the hoarded and unused tv and dvd player that's been lurking in the lounge corner for months now down at the recycling centre.

I've hung new black lace panels behind the curtains in the lounge

and painted random black stripes on the old coffee table from my last house because I haven't found a new one I like for under €400.

I've organized my jewelry into three separate jewelry boxes on my dressing table- my rings with my earrings,my necklaces in another and my bracelets in the last so I can grab them more easily in the morning instead of wearing the same necklace since 2004.

Perhaps I've been doing all this because........?

a) I'm pregnant.
b) Spring has come early
b) I'm a sadist
c) I'm a martyr
d) I'm bored
e) I've been listening too much to Barack Obama lately

I can't decide now because I've an uncontrollable urge to head down to the local hardware shop and buy and replace the broken U-bend belonging to my utility room sink which has been looking at me accusingly for years. And yes, I did mean to write the word 'years'. That was NOT a typo. No. That's how long it's been broken, how long I've not used the bloody thing. How long I am successfully able to procrastinate.

Can you see how riveting and exciting my life is right now?

In the hedgerow

2008-11-03T01:29:00.000Z

Me, in heaven. Even though it ended up being the local chipper

2008-11-02T16:15:00.003Z

Dear Lara,

Yesterday you hid five of my diamond rings because things weren't going your way.

1.Your phone was broken and I refused to buy you another Sim card to use in a spare phone.

2. It was that time of the month for you.

3. I asked you to come home a little earlier than usual to cover the 10 minute gap it would take between us leaving the house and Rachel arriving from Dublin to babysit

4. And lastly you had to hoover after a sleepover in the lounge where you and two of your friends consumed this lot after 'Trick or Treating' that night.

As a result of this cunning plan of yours I couldn't catch the 7.35pm train to Dublin for my Doner Kabab with your Dad as planned because I was spending the evening sifting through the dustbin for €14,000 worth of diamond rings for the second time that night having already checked the laundry basket, all cupboards, under the mattress, the bed , duvet covers, all drawers, all pockets and every cranny of my bedroom and the children's.

Now you will never know how thankful I am to your father for his negotiation skills and of your ability to work out the mathematics of one months grounding if the rings are returned immediately versus six months if they aren't within the next week and for my motherly instinct that pointed me in the direction of YOU, sweet child of mine.

And on this note I leave you with something to ponder on this one months grounding you've received which may aid you in any future revenge attacks and just may save you from being the number one suspect under similar conditions.

'Revenge is a dish best served cold.'

I love you lots,

Mum xxxxxxx

Sisterly love

2008-10-29T10:00:00.003Z

Now I'm sad that my little sister has left Ireland and God knows when I'll get to see here again considering it was nearly three years this time but I'm ever so lucky to have another sister who, although she lives on the other side of Ireland, takes time out of her very busy life with her family and running her hotel to sends me important little messages like this;

"I've discovered if I place my hands on hips and push elbows far back gives illusion of thin arms not sure if it would work for a whole Friday night though!"

Can you figure out what I ate for breakfast this morning?

2008-10-28T16:11:00.002Z

That photo up there is my breakfast before it was poked, mushed and mauled by the kids to their utter disbelief and disappointment that this is actually what's inside their figrolls

I wasn't going to mention anything about my weight here online, you know, like how much I actually weighed before I started this diet on 18th August and how much I want to lose but now I am going to be honest here and let the whole Internet know that I planned on loosing 17lbs when I started and to date I've lost 9lbs on this no carb diet. It really does work and now if I lose one more pound I'll be at 140lbs/10stone and 7lbs off my target weight of 133lbs.

You have no idea how I am SO waiting for when the needle on my weighing scales hits the one zero mark so that I can grab the husband by the arm and take him on a date to Zaytoon where I am going to order and eat an extra large Donner kebab and not care when it starts dribbling down my face and edging towards my ears. And besides I'll probably order another one just for the hell of it.

Now I've to start planning on how to celebrate the next 7lbs. Perhaps a full sliced pan toasted and buttered. That sounds absolutely perfect to me, a person who only this morning actually considered fishing out Sarahs blackened and unwanted toasted cheesey from the waste bin.

The big day

2008-10-26T21:14:00.003Z

I haven't posted much this last week because I was trying to spend as much time as I possibly could with my little sister before she returned to Australia yesterday morning after her wedding and week long holiday here in Ireland.

To go into what we got up to would take pages and pages so lets just say we had an absolute ball and here are a few photos of the special day taken by Allen of Lumiere Photography

Now take a deep breath and check out her main man

This is James, the 6'4" guy she married. Now, weep because, yes, not only does he look good, is a Cambridge educated scientist, a software developer and a movie director but he's a VERY NICE guy too.

She may be lucky marrying him but knowing her like I do I know that really he's the lucky one.

.....I did mention that he's 6'4". Didn't I?

on my dressing table so my life looks bright

2008-10-22T18:51:00.002Z

Well I never banked on that happening

2008-10-21T10:26:00.006Z

So there I am in the garden being all creative-like and painting a copy of one of my favourite artists images on the very large blank boundry wall on the right hand side of our garden

while upstairs my Sarah, 8 years old, also the creative type is doing a little work of her own on our bathroom floor

One teary call to my sister who's had it happen twice in her family and one early morning visit to the dentist later and we were all feeling MUCH MUCH better.

My beautiful sister

2008-10-20T15:40:00.002Z

Why?

2008-10-16T11:25:00.006Z

I know from little things my Dad says to me that deep down he would prefer if I only wrote nice pleasant things on my blog but what he doesn't understand is how wonderful it is to have something that belongs to you and you alone.

Something that you can do anything you want with. Anything at all. As long as you don't hurt anybody in the process and do things like ask permission from a person if you are going to write about them on your blog. Then, when everything is all clear and above board you're free to say, do or write serious or fun things about whatever you want.

Like this for example

Thinking taxing thoughts

2008-10-16T08:06:00.002Z

There I was thinking wouldn't it be great if someone in Ireland came up with an up to date tax calculator generator but a little too much to ask of our little country when to my surprise I came across one here

That time again?

2008-10-15T17:48:00.000Z

Cluck, cluck

2008-10-13T17:35:00.006Z

This is my lovely sister who travelled back to Ireland on Thursday to get married here.

We had a fantastic hen weekend courtesy of our Dad, Laurence M Smith. He treated us girls to a full day of treatments and lunch in the Ritz Carlton Spa and a meal in Roley's later that evening.

We hit the Ice Bar in the Four Seasons afterwards and on our return home we found he had even thought of this

In between were the willy straws, mini vibrators, strawberry daiquiris and car-to-bar shoes tottering down Ballsbridge main road all done on three hours of sleep. Some of us fell by the wayside while others tottered on to dance the small hours away and on Sunday we lunched outside in Avoca, Powerscourt sipping a hair of the dog.

It is Monday and I've STILL not recovered.

Sisters

2008-10-10T10:52:00.005Z

Lara took this photograph of my sisters, my Mum and me yesterday. We were in my parents house in Dublin because my sister, the one on the left, flew into the Airport from Australia and it was sooooo wonderful to see her after nearly three years. Her name's Audrey and she's the one I called my youngest daughter after.

This morning I hit the shops after dropping the kids into school to stock the fridge and cupboards up for the weekend because I'm leaving them all behind, putting my suitcase and champagne and hen pressies into the car, and heading up to Dublin for her hen weekend.

I've also bought near enough 50% of the shareholdings of this company - Solpadeine because I consider it a wise investment in my future.

Well, wouldn't you know it?

2008-10-07T10:29:00.004Z

So it turns out the mother of the kids, who attacked Rachel and her friend and threatened Lara, is a drug dealer. Yeah, a drug dealing Mother here in this one street town.

When I ask Rachel how she knows she tells me 'everyone knows that.'

No wonder her kids act the way they do.

We know where they live and which school they go to but my girls don't want us to take any action unless they hassle them again so we've decided to leave it at that for the time being.

Trouble

2008-10-05T14:40:00.002Z

It's Sunday night and I am home after the weekend in Dublin. I came back at 2pm to cook a roast dinner especially in honour of Rachel's new girlfriend whom we were all meeting for the first time.

She seems a lovely girl and very different from Rachel's last one. They keep to themselves pretty much and in the end it turns out her new girlfriend is a little too shy to eat dinner with us which I can totally understand.

Later that night all the kids are in bed and I have kissed them goodnight and tucked them in before I have a shower.

Mid shower that little voice in my head goes

"You should really go back into Rachel's room and talk to her".

So when I'm finished showering I throw on my dressing gown, walk down the hall and knock on her bedroom door.

"Hi" I say, sitting down on the bed where she is playing her guitar.
"You're getting real good at that" I add.
She plays a while longer and then says
"Do you know what happened today?"
"No, what?" I ask
"Well, you know I took T down to the beach to show it to her today?" she says
"Yes"
"Well, afterwards she asked me if there was anywhere else worth seeing around here so I told her about the lakes up the hill and as we were walking down that road (very rural quiet road) we passed four girls younger than us and they started shouting at us and one of them threw a stone at me and it hit me on the back of the head" she said rubbing her head.

"You're joking me, what did you do?" I ask
"Nothing, I just said what did you do that for and the next thing they were across the road and pushing T around and she said she didn't want to fight them because she as 18 and they were 15 and it would be against the law and could they just stop because if they were looking for a fight they weren't going to get one from her. Then the girl who threw the stone hopped onto T's back and with a fist full of rings she smashed her fist into T's face and I could hear the noise it made. So I pulled the girl off her back and she hit me in the face with her fist of rings" says Rachel pointing at her cheekbone which is marked red.
"Jesus" I say.
"Were you holding her hand when you met them on the road?" I ask
"No" she says shaking her head in exasperation.
I am speechless.
"So then what happened?" I ask
"They started calling us names as we walked away and then one of them shouted 'Tell your sister, Lara McDermott, we're going to get her after school tomorrow coz her sister's queer."

Brand names and brand new names

2008-09-30T09:07:00.006Z

I should have posted this post yesterday but really after this weekend which I spent in Dublin the thoughts of having to sit in the study and wait for my camera to download all my photos and for Blogger to upload them was enough to make me want to use up that waiting time more efficiently by doing something constructive like walking into the local chip shop and saying two Donner kebabs and a packet of crisps please and can you hurry because I have to get back to my photos.

So this morning I finally got around to it.

On Friday I packed my bag, made dinner, fed the family, cleared up the kitchen, kissed everyone on the cheek and skipped out to the car for a weekend of shopping in Dublin with my Mum and Sister.

We started out on Saturday with a champagne breakfast at 9.30am in BT'S

My lovely Mum

My sexy sister

Wondering why I say that? Well just check this out

Christian Louboutin. Okay. Now you get the picture?

Next we went upstairs to meet our Personal Shopper Sharon who was going to help us find two black dresses to wear to my other sisters wedding in a couple of weeks.

And after an hour and a half she did.

These.

They're by MaxMara and fabulous and I can hardly believe that ONE OF THEM IS HANGING IN MY WARDROBE and I can't thank my sister, who's wedding we're wearing them at, enough for it. KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS

So to celebrate we had a meal and headed off to the Ice Bar in The Four Seasons where we drank strawberry daiquiris, laughed more than was probably necessary and watched Glenda Gilson manoeuvre her body on top of a bar stool in way I've never ever seen anybody do before. In a way that made me want TO BE HER. And after four cocktails I vowed I would. Having lost 8 lbs since I started this no carb diet I swore to my Mother and Sister that in 16 weeks we would return here to this very bar and I would sit on that bar stool, stretch out my long, tanned, buffed and glossed legs onto the stool beside me and be surrounded by 8 adoring men.

Just like Glenda.

This explains why next day, Sunday in Dundrum Shopping Centre, I bought the trouser shorts she was wearing, okay, maybe not exactly the same ones because I found them in Pennys for €6 but CLOSE BY GOD. I picked up the bangles like the ones she was wearing for €6 there also and now all I need is the waistcoat.

I have the impossibly high shoes that gorgeous gal Glenda was wearing but have yet to perfect her walk. You know the kind of walk I mean? She's so gorgeous she can stumble across the room to greet someone whilst her shoes flail all around her and still maintain that sexy look somehow.

And why am I doing this? Because a promise is a promise, even if it's preceded by 4 strawberry daiquiris. It also gives us a chance to visit the ice bar again and me a reason to STAY on my no carb diet. And God knows I need a reason. Sure amn't I scraping the end of the barrel for Christsakes.

And besides who wouldn't want to be able to stumble around a five star hotel and still look hot?

So why don't you go right ahead now and just call me Glenda.

Another song being sung over and over in my head

2008-09-26T09:07:00.002Z

True Corianthian spirit is alive and well in this house

2008-09-26T08:38:00.004Z

I've got a blocked sinus these past three days which has given me a such a headache that I feel like I've headbutted the kitchen table in exactly the style Audrey, 6, did two days ago when I told her, no, she couldn't go out to play with the other kids because she still hadn't done her homework.

My secret stash

2008-09-25T11:27:00.005Z

While cleaning up recently I found my stash of frames that I've been buying since before the summer and storing behind a chair in the study so I warmed the printer up and shot off some photographs of the kids and other stuff, put them in the frames and hung them up in the hall.

Now I'm just waiting to see how long it takes Lara to remove the frame with the photo of a close up of her face in it.

MY NEW FAVOURITE SONG BY LISA MITCHELL - NEOPOLITIAN DREAMS

2008-09-24T17:30:00.002Z

CONVERSATION WITH A MAN WHO BOUGHT A BEACH SCENE PAINTING FROM ME AT THE FESTIVAL OF CULTURE LAST MONTH

2008-09-24T09:38:00.004Z

"Okay, that's a deal and now I need another painting" he says in his Cockney accent
'Great', I'm thinking.
"She wants a beach scene, a funny kind, you know, typical English beach scene with the man sitting on the beach with a handkerchief knotted on his head. Nice plump ladies, kind of Beryl Cookish. Can you do that?" he asks

"Sure can" I reply hoping he didn't see me swallow hard and then we come to an agreement on the price.

"Great, call me when it's finished" he says as we swap phone numbers.
He tells me his name and I Google it for fun a couple of days later and turns out he has the same name as a famous con artist in the UK who's dead now but I make a mental note anyhow.

DO NOT ACCEPT A CHEQUE.

Have to go make a call now.

Bye

MUSKY DUSKY SCENTED JASMINE

2008-09-23T11:12:00.006Z

I surrounded the seating area in the garden with jasmine so when the daylight fades the evening scent of jasmine fills the air.

If you like this print you can also find it in my shop here

......AND I REMEMBER

2008-09-22T18:14:00.002Z

I took this photo yesterday and like the previous photo I posted it reminds me of my childhood.

If you'd like to buy one as a present for someone you can find it here

SUMMER MEMORIES

2008-09-22T16:29:00.003Z

I took this photo on Saturday and because this beach holds so many happy memories for me I'm going to frame it and hang it in my hall so I can see it every day.

EVERYTHING DOESN'T ALWAYS COME UP ROSES

2008-09-22T10:22:00.006Z

This is the start of the third week since the kids went back to school and what a two weeks it's been.

I lost one of my diamond stud earrings on the same day that Rod reversed out of his parking spot at work scraping a colleagues car and next day the postman delivers me a €40 parking fine dated back to the 9th August. Only my second ever. It was for that one time I ran into the bank to deposit some money without paying for parking because it was raining. And then because things come in lots the MOT tester of my car informs me I need new tyres on my car and my suspension fixed and a new rear back light. I wouldn't mind only I put my car in for a full service the day before.

Like great, bring on the real shit and then you get exactly what you asked for. Three of the kids got ill with bad, bad colds and had to stay home for the week practically and so I do what I do best when I'm stressed. I clean and tidy.

It's not that I want to clean and tidy it's just that it gives me a feeling of control over my life. Like, see I have no cobwebs under my bed because I'm organised and everything is running fine in my world. What about yours? Would you like to check out my shower drain? You'd be amazed at how vinegar shines it up so good.

Of course there were good things too like talking to Rod about his promotion and assuring him that we'd be okay with his having to travel away from home more and on Saturday things seemed a little brighter when the sun decided to try and overcome it's agoraphobia. So we packed the suitcases, kids and dog into the car and headed off for the east coast of Ireland where parking fines and car troubles don't seem so important when there are picnics to be had on beaches and wine to be drunk.

We arrived back Sunday and this morning when I returned to an empty house after walking the kids to school I tidied up the breakfast dishes, put dinner in the slow cooker and threw on a wash and I found some rose incense sticks while putting something away in a cupboard and I thought. Perfect. Now my world can smell of roses.

But could I find a lighter or a match? Nope. So I stick the incense stick into the toaster and try to light it that way but it drops out of my hand and falls into the bottom of the hot toaster. I struggle to get it out and soon the whole kitchen and hall is covered in a misty haze of burnt roses and toast and I laugh.

A little too hysterically perhaps?

Anyhow, how's your day smelling?

SNEEK PEEK OF A COMMISSIONED PAINTING I'M WORKING ON AT THE MOMENT

2008-09-17T20:08:00.001Z

GIMPING AROUND

2008-09-16T10:18:00.006Z

I've been messing around with GIMP recently and for those of you who don't have Photoshop and are looking for a free Photo Editor this has got to be one of the best around. If like me you're using an Apple Mac you can download X11 also for free so that your computer can read Gimp as it's a windows application. You'll find all the information you need to know about uploading it on the Official Gimp Website which also has great tutorial lessons as it can be a bit daunting if you've never used the application before.

Here's what I've done with some of my photos and if you'd like to buy any of them you'll find them for sale here in my ETSY STORE!

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN

2008-09-14T16:11:00.010Z

When an invite for "the 600th birthday of the castle in my garden" arrived from my friend Sandra I just knew this was going to be fun because Sandras the kind of gal who doesn't do things by halves.

SANDRA

It was a night in a million and will take another million to recover from but that may also have had something to do with being up till 2am the night before singing karaoke with the girls from my ~~wine club~~ book club like we were sure X Factor needed us more than we needed it and like no, I can't actually hand you the microphone so you can have a turn because I've superglued it to my hand I'm having that much fun.

And that's Ailish in a good mood.

Now if there's a severe lack of posting from this site over the next week that's because I'm sleeping.