REASONING OF A FIVE YEAR OLD

Yesterday after having lunch on the beach with the six kids we were heading back to the car when Audrey fell and hurt her knee and elbow. Snots and tears mingled with sand creating perfect plugholes for each nostril. Her hair was still dull and lank despite having taken two showers to remove the Wax Dax Rachel had put in trying to create the ultimate mohawk the night before. I cleaned her up as best I could but somehow she still managed to look like a dirty neglected child. I popped her into the car and on we drove. I dropped Lara and her three friends off at their house and headed on to Audreys friends house. She was going to go and play for a couple of hours with her beautiful princess-like pal from school although when the child clapped eyes on the state of Audrey I wouldn't have blamed her if she shut the door on her face. When we arrived Audrey and the princess fell into each others arms, love being blind and all that stuff. I felt obliged to explain the state of Audrey to the Mother. Knowing she was a Nurse there was always the possibility she had extra clout with Social Services and I believe I've used up my monthly quota of contact with them.

I waved goodbye but I dont think Audrey saw me through the smoke from my tyres. And then there was two. Sarah and Me. We sang as we drove home. My phone rang as we walked through the door.
"Hi Ellen, it's Audrey, she wants to come home. She had a little accident in her jeans and she wouldn't change into Princesses' jeans so I'll just drop her back to you, ok?"

10 minutes later we waved our goodbyes to her little friend and mother. Audrey changed her clothes and went to play in a neighbours house. When I brought her home to go to bed I noticed a dark patch between her legs.

"Audrey, have you done a wee in your jeans again?"
"Yep"
"Why don't you use their toilet?'
"Going to the toilet is boring when I'm having so much fun playing. If I go to the toilet then their Mum might ask me to leave because she thinks the game is over so it's much easier to squeeze it back in and when I can't squeeze it in any longer I just let it drop"