I have, on many occasions, admired something a stranger is wearing, asked them where they bought it, searched it out, found it and bought it for myself. It's a little trick I learned from my mother who could shop for Ireland were she not on a family wager not to buy a stitch of clothing for six months.
So when I saw this lady, about my own age, in my local supermarket I couldn't but notice her lovely figure. She was slim without that skinny drawn look that only the very hungry have and before I knew what was happening I was right over there beside her in the pet food section.
"Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me saying this but I've noticed you here before and I cant help wondering what is it exactly you do to have such a wonderful figure?"
Had I really said that?
She happily told me she walked to the next town and back which was 10km/6.213 miles then she walked along the sea front with her dogs and on her return she ran on her thread mill as she watched T.V and then on a Saturday she could eat what ever she wanted, bacon and cabbage even. BACON AND CABBAGE. Had I heard her right for Christsakes?
Why not a large bag of Doritos, a bar of mint chocolate all washed down with a Coke? Perhaps all this exercise had caused a little weight loss of the brain.
She pranced off to the cash register with her basket of shopping and left me standing there wondering if all that sustained regime of exercise was really worth having a beautiful, slim, toned body and bacon and cabbage on a Saturday?
Nah. It couldn't possibly be
But that didn't stop me putting on my trainers this evening after dinner and heading off with my headphones and radio for the next town 10km/6.213 miles away.
The walk took longer than I planned because it's been a long time since I walked 10km of an evening and pretty soon the husband was ringing me to know where I was. I knew that the little seed Lara planted in his head, when she laughingly said last week that she wondered if I was having an affair I was out of the house so much recently, was sprouting in his mind right about the time I was one hour and fifty minutes into my evening walk.
I'll be home in ten minutes I said with the little breath I had left although I wasn't sure my ankles would last that long.
The thoughts of a nice warm shower kept me going and when I finally arrived home 10km later I felt a little faint on stopping. I made my way upstairs, put the kids to bed, kissed them and told them to stop kicking each other as I switched off the light.
As usual, all the hot water had been used by the older kids so I flicked the switch to warm some more and went to watch a movie with the husband.
No sooner had I cross my legs on the couch when loud cries of misery came from both of the two youngest girls as they thumped down the stairs, cries ever increasing in volume.
Being connoisseurs of crying we lock eyeballs and play that game we play now and then when we try to guess the tune from the first few bars of a song on the radio.
"That's torn skin" I say without blinking
"Yep could be, sounds like a broken arm,...... or leg though" he replies knowingly
And in runs a screaming Sarah who's got the bottom half of her top tooth lying on her lower lip