Thursday, March 29, 2007

SMALL MEN CAN TELL BIG LIES

Yesterday morning my phone rang. It was the 'Small Man'. My car was ready. Could I be ready for him to pick me up in four minutes and he would drive me to my car? You bet.

Five minutes later I was sitting beside the Small Man in his silver slk sports Merc driving down the old coast road. Eventually we pulled into a narrow lane way and past two bungalows before coming to a stop. Where the hell was I?
"Wait here, there are two big guard dogs you definitely DON'T want to meet"
He got my car and parked it behind his. He opened the car door to let me out of his car all the while looking over his shoulder for those vicious dogs who might tear us up or the invoice that he held in his hand.
'There, its all ready for you" he said handing me the car keys. He opened the invoice and my eyes immediately shot to the bottom line. €125.
'That'll be €250. €125 parts and €100 labour", he said all the while looking over my shoulder in a concerned manner as he spoke. I turned expecting to see two vicious dogs ready to devour me.
Nothing.
'WHAT' I spluttered, 'I thought you said the part was only €10'
'Yea, well, he thought he had the part in his garage but he didn't and so he had to order it and have it express delivered for you' he replied still watching over my shoulder.
F***K the dogs, I could've bitten him myself at that stage.
He folded the invoice and put it in his pocked.
I took the keys but I would've rather have grabbed him by the goulies.
When I got home I texted him.
Send me the bill with VAT number included.
The small man's a liar and I'm naive.
But I have my car back.
To celebrate and since I've been starved of retail therapy I drove straight to Heatons and bought two of these light shades for the landing upstairs.

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