Thursday, August 2, 2007

ABERCROMBIE & FITCH RULE WEXFORD AND THATS A FACT

Today was a beautiful sunny day. Quite welcomed after the weeks and weeks of wind, rain and cold weather I can tell you. The kids open the curtains first thing every morning to see if the sun has decided to shine and wonders of wonders today it did. And so we all ran round the van swinging our swim wear over our heads and squirting sun tan lotion at each other in between pulling aside the curtains every two minutes to check that large black clouds have not moved in while we weren't looking.

After breakfast we went to the beach where I spent the morning trying to remember how to resuscitate a drowning child as I watched the kids wade out too deep to body slam into the on coming 2 foot high waves. I talked to some of the other moms seated here and there in groups on the sandy beach and noticed a strange phenomenon with regard to the conversations. Each of the groups of Mums I spent time talking to seemed to be having conversations about schools.

"What school have you got your kids down for?" said the mother with the huge 5 carat diamond ring and five year old child who could hardly pronounce her own name.

"What schools have you're children been accepted into?" asks the woman who has probably contemplated having the words ABERCROMBIE & FITCH tattooed onto her 4 children's foreheads at some stage.

I hear the names of all the private schools in Ireland being bandied about and after a while all I want to do is reach deep, deep down into my beach bag and pull out a megaphone so I can shout out to all the mothers on the beach.

"WHICHEVER SCHOOL I SEND MY CHILDREN TO IS A VERY VERY LUCKY SCHOOL TO GET HER........................................................ AND SHOULD COUNT ITS BLESSINGS.................. AND COULD YOU PLEASE NOW ALL SHUT UP TALKING ABOUT SCHOOLS FOR CHRISTSAKES........ YOU'RE BORING ME TO DEATH THANK YOU VERY MUCH"

My two sisters and brother and went to the best private schools in Ireland, both day and boarding schools and The Husband went to both private boarding school and state school. I, being the independent, all knowing, stubborn person that I am refused to leave my non paying state school to go to a private school as I was so into sport and very happy with my friends who came from all walks of life. I was going to be Games Captain of the whole school. Why would I ever want to leave. And I was. My one and only claim to fame that I have from my free, non-fee paying school. And how does that help me these days. Well, I can still run very fast after small people who want to run a relay race using a packet of chocolate biscuits as a baton down the hall and out the front door and pretending that I am having a very intense game of basketball as I fling different coloured clothing into the many many laundry baskets I possess seems to work for me.


My 4 children, 3 who have previously been in a private school are now in a state, free, non-fee paying school since we moved house two years ago and are happy with their little friends who's parents are; vets, child-minders, bank managers, bartenders, directors, homemakers, shopkeepers, teachers and secretaries.

When my eldest daughter Rachel was 13 we were living in our old house and she was in her private school and all she wanted for her 13th birthday was money and a meal for 6 of her closest friends. Her wish was my command and so I laid on a lovely meal for her and her little pals. In between running back and forth from the kitchen I overheard some of their conversation

"I know your father is a lawyer but what's your mother?"
"She's a doctor"
"Oh how funny, they're the opposite to mine, my mother is a lawyer and my father is a doctor"
"Both of mine are lawyers"
"Ha Ha, mine are both doctors"

Ha Ha is right.

After dinner when one little girl bent down and stuck her face into our dogs face who promptly tried to gouge out the girls eye and left three red and white welt marks down her left cheek. After I'd scolded the dog, disinfected the welts and put antibacterial cream on the young teenage girls' wounds I thought; on your knees Ellen and pray she's not scarred on her face for life. She could possibly end up with a profile similar to Seal .

"Eh, just wondering love. Is your mother the Doctor or the Lawyer?"
"She's a lawyer"
GREAT. JUST WHAT I NEED. SHE'S GOING TO SUE ME FOR MILLIONS. HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE TO THE HUSBAND

I called her on the phone and filled her in on the situation, how I'd treated the wound etc. trying to make the incident seem incidental, a one off.
"No problem" she said. " We have dogs ourselves and completely understand the situation and I'm sure my daughter is in good hands"

I think she thought I was a Doctor. Or maybe it's just that Lawyers don't sue other Lawyers.

Just in case she changed her mind we sold up the house, took the kids out of the school and went into hiding, living in a mobile home in Wexford from June to December. Since we hadn't heard anything since then we reckoned it was safe to come out and we haven't looked back since then.

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